she woke up. looked around the dark house and realized she wasn't at home in her room with her toys. she remembered earlier that night when the two policemen and that lady in the suit dragged her to the car. she wanted her mommy and started crying quietly to herself.
noone told her anything. they said she was too little to understand, but she knew she was old enough. she remembered that time when mommy got really sick and started to throw up in the bathroom she knew how to call for the ambulance. and she knew that mommy said not to touch that white powder in her room.
she just didn't understand. she missed her brother he was just a baby and noone else knew how to cut up the banana's he liked to eat. what about her best friend across the hall they were supposed to play dress up tomorrow after school.
all she remembered was mommy screaming. "you can't take my babies!"
that's when she ran into her room and opened the window with her teddy bear to go out on the fire escape. she was too scared to go down and the policeman caught her as she dropped her favorite bear the 8 floors below. she screamed for her mommy as they picked her up out of the house.
she sat in that office until it was really late. the lady kept offering her food but she just wanted her mommy. "i don't care what drugs are i just wanna go home!"
so there she laid. in a shelter on a bed that wasn't her's without her small family. she fell back asleep crying.
one of the other kids stole her blanket that night. she woke up shivering with a cough. she looked at the big clock on the wall and remember when her grandmother taught her how to tell time that summer before she passed away. "it's 8.30" she said to herself.
there were a lot of kids there and she tried to look for someone old to ask questions. then she saw this pudgy lady in an office sitting in front of a computer. she remembered she had one, but mommy had to sell it to pay for something she needed.
she knocked on that wooden door and pushed it open. "hiii...how are you?" asked the lady. she got nervous and answered "fine". "umm...do you know when i can go home to see my mommy?"
"not for a while sweetie. your mommy was doing something very bad. and that's why we had to take you here for a little bit" the lady told her. "but what about my brother? mommy said he was teething and she said he needed us" she asked. "honey he had to go somewhere else so they could take care of him better"
she felt her stomach drop to the floor. she began to walk away. the lady from the office called out for her. she passed out and hit the floor.
two weeks had passed and today was the first day she would get a supervised visit with her mommy. the lady held her hand as she walked underneath the dull lights on the ceiling staring at the purple walls. the lady opened the door.
she saw her mommy and shrieked as she ran into her arms. mommy had gotten skinnier since that night. the talked for the time they had left. until the lady looked at her watch and said "times up". she hugged her mommy and said "I'll see you in two weeks right?"
her mother hugged her very tightly and said "promise me you'll always love me"
she was confused but said "duh mommy I'll love you forever and ever"
the door closed behind her.
that night her mother's body had been found on 158th st. in the tunnel below the long island rail road tracks. she had overdosed on cocaine, and the people she was with threw her out of the car.
she sat there in the room. she couldn't believe what she had just heard. "mommy's not dead. i saw her yesterday" her skin had begun to tighten up and her eyes were filling with water. she started to cry and laid on the floor screaming.
she knew she had no family left and everyone she had made friends with kept telling her that she would never see her brother again. she was only six and she just wanted someone to hug, someone to love her. but there she knew she was empty.
she looked out of the window of the office building she was in. it overlooked the lirr tracks a block away from where her mother was found. she grabbed the walls and dug her nails in.
she was forgotten.
16.6.07
inanimate.
it stood there on the plastic seats that were different shades of orange. someone left it from the last time the train was in service. the sign through the door's windows read "Stillwell Av" the hydraulic pumps made noises as the doors in all eight cars opened up. two people got on at the other end of the car.
the doors closed and the train jerked forward with a humming sound that grew louder and louder. it fell onto the seat and rolled onto the next one as the silver row of cars pulled into "West 8st NY Aquarium" the cold air from the nearby ocean swept the car from the darkness that was outside. noone go on. the train moved on.
twenty minutes passed and the train pulled into "4TH Av" the station was a bit crowded and the train became more and more populated. homeless people stumbled past it, business men grabbing the first seat they could see, and the mass of north face book bags and coats as high schooler's began their day.
the train slid forward as the sun began to raise over the city. "smith and ninth" sounded throughout the car. more people someone picked it up and laid it on the hard floor. it stood there under the seat as the person sat down.
"...then she called me this morning to tell me she was fucking pregnant! I'm not ready for no kid. I bet you it's not mine" was heard under the three seats. someone's bag hit it and it fell over and began to roll as the train sped towards another tunnel.
it rolled further down the car hitting and resting on a stroller. "shh...i can't stand this. my mother's husband wants me to get out of the house but i can't even afford to feed the both of us."
someone else said "if you need to stay with me and julio, I'll be happy to help you i hate seeing you like this."
she then kicked the bottle to the door as it began to open but the entering passengers kicked it back in under a seat. the train was packed now and it was stuck between the pole and a messenger's bike.
the trip continued.
"Delancy!" the conductor yelled out. a few people found their way through the maze of people. and it was freed as the messenger got off. "Maybe if you let me get off i wouldn't have hit you with the bike!"
"fuck off!" the train got quiet again except for the freshman kids that it had just rolled under their seats. "THAT SHIT WAS CRAZY MA DUDE" "NAH I AIN'T HER FUCKIN HOMEWORK SHE COULD SUCK MA DICK" "I KNOW I'M LOUD I DON'T GIVE A SHIT I'M NOT SCARED OF NOBODY"
their conversation had quickly died down when some older kids from their school had got on at L.E.S 2nd Ave.
the train emptied out at the next few stops. b'way lafayette, west 4th, 14th, 34th, 42nd, rockefeller center. the seats were now littered with am new york's and metro's. the train still carried the commuters going into the east side and further into queens. "lexington...change here for a metrocard transfer to the 4,5,and 6 trains.
the train sped off and people were scattered around the car. as the train traveled under the east river at 40mph it rolled all the way to the other side of the car. to a pudgy guy writing in a book. he was going to class at st. johns and was designing a product for his economics class. he sneezed and his foot hit the thing that had been rolling around the train for an hour. he looked at it and a lightbulb went off in his head. he kicked it and began to insanely write notes.
the train pulled into queensbridge and a few teenagers got on. and sat on the seat that it was under. "this year sucks. i don't want to be a senior it's only the second day and i hate it. i just wish we were back in jr. high. there's too much shit to do. and everyone keeps telling me I'm rushing to be an adult. it's already time for me to be applying to colleges. what am i supposed to act like some little kid that doesn't have to worry about anything."
"nah but just relax we got ten months left. when you get your acceptance letters then you worry about it. just keep busy"
"yeah yeah. it's just scary"
as the train slowed when it passed 65th st. moved further down passing an old woman on her way to the doctor and rolling underneath a homeless guy that was sleeping underneath a blanket the city gave him.
it hit the foot of a white woman in her 40's. looking at the map. "i don't think we're in the city anymore. it says jackson heights. we got on in the wrong direction."
"mom coney island is the other way!"
"it's okay we'll just make a few transfers. get on the e here and switch over to the j...to get us into brooklyn."
the train stopped and more people got on. a little kid kicked it to the other door that was closed where she looked at the crowd on the other side full of people waiting to get into the city.
"mommy look at all those people where they goin?"
"to work and school"
"i wanna go to school"
"you are we just gotta go get you checked on by the doctor"
"but i don't wanna"
"you have to now come here and give me your hat."
it rolled back and forth in the car as it went express in the half empty train.
"parson's is next"
"i hate doing this everyday" said a transit agent who was sitting talking to the conductor. who's door was open "i know what you mean. it get's so fucking boring some days i just want to not open the doors these morons get on my last nerves with the questions"
"exactly...where's this? how do i get here? where can i transfer? look at a fucking map"
the breaks slammed as they pulled into 169th. and it rolled to the door. most of the people got off.
"179 is the next and last stop on this f train. stand clear of the doors."
the chimes sounded and the train pulled off. the lights flickered as they did every now and then. and the car was completely dark for 20 seconds. the train pulled into the station. everyone got off. the homeless person had to be woken up by the motorman. he slowly walked out dragging his blanket that covered it. and pulled it onto the platform.
it was let loose and rolled to the other side of the island platform. the wind from an approaching train knocked it over onto the tracks. there it laid. the half full bottle of aquafina. the bottle that was once sitting in coney island now laid on the tracks in jamaica queens
inanimate.
the doors closed and the train jerked forward with a humming sound that grew louder and louder. it fell onto the seat and rolled onto the next one as the silver row of cars pulled into "West 8st NY Aquarium" the cold air from the nearby ocean swept the car from the darkness that was outside. noone go on. the train moved on.
twenty minutes passed and the train pulled into "4TH Av" the station was a bit crowded and the train became more and more populated. homeless people stumbled past it, business men grabbing the first seat they could see, and the mass of north face book bags and coats as high schooler's began their day.
the train slid forward as the sun began to raise over the city. "smith and ninth" sounded throughout the car. more people someone picked it up and laid it on the hard floor. it stood there under the seat as the person sat down.
"...then she called me this morning to tell me she was fucking pregnant! I'm not ready for no kid. I bet you it's not mine" was heard under the three seats. someone's bag hit it and it fell over and began to roll as the train sped towards another tunnel.
it rolled further down the car hitting and resting on a stroller. "shh...i can't stand this. my mother's husband wants me to get out of the house but i can't even afford to feed the both of us."
someone else said "if you need to stay with me and julio, I'll be happy to help you i hate seeing you like this."
she then kicked the bottle to the door as it began to open but the entering passengers kicked it back in under a seat. the train was packed now and it was stuck between the pole and a messenger's bike.
the trip continued.
"Delancy!" the conductor yelled out. a few people found their way through the maze of people. and it was freed as the messenger got off. "Maybe if you let me get off i wouldn't have hit you with the bike!"
"fuck off!" the train got quiet again except for the freshman kids that it had just rolled under their seats. "THAT SHIT WAS CRAZY MA DUDE" "NAH I AIN'T HER FUCKIN HOMEWORK SHE COULD SUCK MA DICK" "I KNOW I'M LOUD I DON'T GIVE A SHIT I'M NOT SCARED OF NOBODY"
their conversation had quickly died down when some older kids from their school had got on at L.E.S 2nd Ave.
the train emptied out at the next few stops. b'way lafayette, west 4th, 14th, 34th, 42nd, rockefeller center. the seats were now littered with am new york's and metro's. the train still carried the commuters going into the east side and further into queens. "lexington...change here for a metrocard transfer to the 4,5,and 6 trains.
the train sped off and people were scattered around the car. as the train traveled under the east river at 40mph it rolled all the way to the other side of the car. to a pudgy guy writing in a book. he was going to class at st. johns and was designing a product for his economics class. he sneezed and his foot hit the thing that had been rolling around the train for an hour. he looked at it and a lightbulb went off in his head. he kicked it and began to insanely write notes.
the train pulled into queensbridge and a few teenagers got on. and sat on the seat that it was under. "this year sucks. i don't want to be a senior it's only the second day and i hate it. i just wish we were back in jr. high. there's too much shit to do. and everyone keeps telling me I'm rushing to be an adult. it's already time for me to be applying to colleges. what am i supposed to act like some little kid that doesn't have to worry about anything."
"nah but just relax we got ten months left. when you get your acceptance letters then you worry about it. just keep busy"
"yeah yeah. it's just scary"
as the train slowed when it passed 65th st. moved further down passing an old woman on her way to the doctor and rolling underneath a homeless guy that was sleeping underneath a blanket the city gave him.
it hit the foot of a white woman in her 40's. looking at the map. "i don't think we're in the city anymore. it says jackson heights. we got on in the wrong direction."
"mom coney island is the other way!"
"it's okay we'll just make a few transfers. get on the e here and switch over to the j...to get us into brooklyn."
the train stopped and more people got on. a little kid kicked it to the other door that was closed where she looked at the crowd on the other side full of people waiting to get into the city.
"mommy look at all those people where they goin?"
"to work and school"
"i wanna go to school"
"you are we just gotta go get you checked on by the doctor"
"but i don't wanna"
"you have to now come here and give me your hat."
it rolled back and forth in the car as it went express in the half empty train.
"parson's is next"
"i hate doing this everyday" said a transit agent who was sitting talking to the conductor. who's door was open "i know what you mean. it get's so fucking boring some days i just want to not open the doors these morons get on my last nerves with the questions"
"exactly...where's this? how do i get here? where can i transfer? look at a fucking map"
the breaks slammed as they pulled into 169th. and it rolled to the door. most of the people got off.
"179 is the next and last stop on this f train. stand clear of the doors."
the chimes sounded and the train pulled off. the lights flickered as they did every now and then. and the car was completely dark for 20 seconds. the train pulled into the station. everyone got off. the homeless person had to be woken up by the motorman. he slowly walked out dragging his blanket that covered it. and pulled it onto the platform.
it was let loose and rolled to the other side of the island platform. the wind from an approaching train knocked it over onto the tracks. there it laid. the half full bottle of aquafina. the bottle that was once sitting in coney island now laid on the tracks in jamaica queens
inanimate.
the ending.
dedicated to jose (haha my #1 fan)...for making me realize how creepy the world is.
he walked through the doorway into the terminal leaving the pouring new york city rain behind him. the lights flickered for a minute. the scene within the delta terminal was chaotic. people trying to escape the city, people trying to get back home. there he was alone with one suitcase standing in front of the fogged up glass doors he had just walked through. he turned to see his friend's car pulling off to get back on to the flooded van wyck. he looked up at departures on the board in front of him expecting his flight to be delayed. among the rash of cancellations and delays throughout the country there it stood "5:40 PM Delta Flight #78 Berlin-Tegel On Time"
he sighed then looked at his silver watch to see that it was 4:30. he stood there to look at the watch he had just gotten for his birthday last week along with the tickets to go to Berlin to stay with family for a month. before he started college at FIT that fall. a break is what he needed from the roller coaster ride that his senior year was. he just wished his parents were with him. they were stuck in the city because the subways had been closed downtown because of the rain that had been pouring down on the city for the past two weeks. he had began to forget what the sunlight was. he decided to get his ticket and go through security. he walked to the check in area where the crowd was growing by the minute. "i can't believe they canceled another fucking flight!" someone said as he looked up at the ticker tape screen telling people that the last flight for the night to the dominican republic was canceled. he felt bad as he walked past the crowd to one of the small computers.
he watched the short machine spit out his ticket. he walked towards the security line, that was already a chaotic mess. "If you do not have your passport or your flight has been canceled please get off line!" yelled a port authority cop. A hatian woman a few people in front of him had just passed out. he really didn't pay attention because he was so used to the subways this crowd really wasn't too much to handle. as the paramedics took her out of the terminal he just turned his ipod on. 20 minutes passed then 30 and he was still in the line. he looked up at one of the tv screens showing the continuous coverage of the storms across the country. the snow in the midwest, the approaching hurricane in the south, and the constant rain in the north. but that wasn't showing on the screen. the bar at the bottom read "worldwide volcano activity"
wow he thought to himself "it can't get worse than this" as the lights began to flicker for the third time. eventually he got to the metal detectors. it was more confusion and fighting there than anywhere in the airport. "take your shoes off" someone yelled at the crowd. he went through without that annoying screech and stood there putting everything back on. he looked at the board again and his flight was still on time. he thought it was odd because every other flight on the board was delayed. 5:10 read the digital screen that welcomed him to the airport.
he walked to the end of the terminal to get to gate 2 where his plane would be soon. it was a total different story inside. everything was organized aside from the few distraught customers who's flights had been canceled. it was much quieter than downstairs. he even found a seat when he got to his gate. he sat down and just looked out at the runway.
the rain had gotten worse and he no longer could see the ground it was like the ocean that was next to the airport had risen up. there was no longer a ground he felt like a little kid when he walked up to the glass wall to look out. and there his plane was slushing through the water to drop off it's passengers. he looked at his watch it was already 5:30 and the sky had started to darken. he knew that the city was about to have a very bad night.
he sat back down in his plastic seat to look up at one of the screens to see that la palma, a canary island, had erupted and crashed into the atlantic ocean. he knew from a jr. high project that if this ever happened there was a possibility of a mega tsunami that would destroy every coastline along the atlantic ocean. "there are no tsunami warnings at the moment but we will keep you informed"
he wanted to stay in the city with his family but after he called his mom who was still stuck in the city she told him to go. "what would you do? you can't even get home from the airport" he knew it was true as he hung up the phone while he was on line boarding the plane. he felt scared as he walked through the jetway bridge a rush of adrenaline mad him nervous about leaving.
everything else was a blur and after a wait on the tarmac by 6:15 his plane was running through the runway and picked itself up. he looked out and saw the entire city almost everything flooded but just as he looked out the clouds blocked out everything. the plane had gone dark and silent. he drifted off to sleep.
thinking about the day before standing in the drizzle on the J where he was talking to the woman he had just broken up with. the long conversation left him sad and still confused as he lay his head on the sign that read "Crescent Street" he felt bad that he couldn't be completely honest with her but he knew that she wouldn't comprehend what he was saying to her. how he loved her so much but knew that he wouldn't be happy with her. he looked to see her walking away to the end of the platform where she disappeared as she walked down the stairs. but he didn't notice that as he got back on to the train to go home she was sitting there on the stairs crying. because she knew he wasn't telling her everything.
"sir...dinner?" as he awoke..."umm yea do you have chicken?"
he put the food on the tray in front of him and looked at his watch. it would be 8:30 in new york. he looked at the phone in front of him that showed news reports on the small green lcd screen. "massive blackout throughout northeast...tsunami destroys west coast of africa killing millions...tsunami warnings for all atlantic coastlines...nuclear power plant security system failure throughout europe...msnbc news"
"Ohh Shit!"he said along with other people throughout the plane along with the "oh my god" and the "we're all gonna die" he swiped his credit card through the phone and dialed his house number. "beep...this is the department of homeland security the phones in this area have been closed off for emergency use only"
he sat there in a daze. while everyone was panicking and demanding answers. the tv's were turned on to some satellite station. where they said the news.
Africa, South Asia, India, Pacific Islands, and Australia had been barraged with a series of earthquakes and tsunami's all at one immediately claiming the lives of hundreds of millions.
Central Asia had been hit with wild storms creating extreme flooding in mainland china, india, and east russia killing most of the population there.
Europe aside from massive flooding in eastern europe was dealing with a security issue. a new firewall digital security system was put in place for the safety of every nuclear power plant located in the european union. unfortunatley there was a flaw and the system has told itself to self destruct by the next morning.
the americas were dealing with almost everything. from the 19 feet of snow in the central states, to the flooding and incoming tsunami in the east. the west was evacuating because of the pacific tsunami and the earthquakes. while south america seemed unphased by all of this.
"the problem is noone knows about the tsunami over here in the east there's no power and even if there was there is no way to get around." said one of the reporters.
soon after that the channel cut it's feed along with the radio stations. everything seemed to be happening so fast. his head was spinning he went to the bathroom to look in the mirror and to get a grip on what was happening. he knew he'd never see the people he'd loved. he could never see his ex-girlfriend and explain that he loved her and was sorry that he hurt her but that he was living a lie. he wanted to be with his mother and not halfway across the atlantic ocean. he sat on the floor of the bathroom and cried. he looked at his watch to see that it was 10:45 and his plane was gonna be landing in two hours to god knows what.
he took an orange container of pills. and swallowed three benzodiazepines so he could relax. he walked back to his seat to sleep. snoring within a couple of minutes.
the plane shook. and he woke up. "we're landing?" he asked the flight attendant . "we'll see" she replied. he looked out the window to see the sun and berlin with no lights. he sat there and yawned. he wasn't sure what was gonna happen next.
a few minutes passed and the plane looked like it was gonna land as the ground came closer and closer. he wanted to know what happened to his family. then there was a bright flash followed by an extremely loud bang. some of the windows on the plane cracked and others shattered. he looked out of the window to see a huge cloud full of colors speeding towards the plane.
"slam!"
the plane was picked up and rolled hundreds of times until it disintegrated.
everything was destroyed. five point two billion people dead. only people in the middle east and south america were alive. because of the lack of communication because of the destruction of the western world there was no economy and contamination to radiation killed millions in the middle east fairly quickly. war broke out in south america and suicide was a common occurrence. within five years the last child died when his mother hanged herself. the world sat there in silence nothing but the trees. everything else slowly rotted away. humanity was gone.evolution started again.
pt.2
she walked towards the subway from school the excitement swirled in her head. she was done with the classes, the drama, the teachers, the credits. it was the last day and although it had been raining for two weeks already she didn't care. she looked back at the green colored building that was going to be torn down by the end of the summer to make way for a supermarket. in her head she was really sad to know that it was the last time she would see that building she had walked in hundreds of times for the past four years.
but then she looked at her transcript with the art & design seal on it and saw all of the credits were in order and then switched papers to see the acceptance letter she had gotten from Cooper Union. she smiled at herself. not even realizing that she just stepped into a large puddle as she tried to cross 57th.
she opened her red razr. as she dipped into the crowded wendy's full of freshman screaming at the top of their lungs because it was the last day of school. she had to call her boyfriend who sent her a text telling her they needed to talk. she knew this wasn't good but was still excited to be out of high school so it didn't bother her. "hello" she said "umm okay where?" she asked "by the J?...right now?...okay bye"
she put her phone back on the clip. and slid back out of the glass doors and continued to walk uptown. all the way up to the movie theater she passed countless times. to the subway entrance that she hated because of it's steep narrow stairs that she fell down the first week freshman year. down the escalators to the unusually dusty platform for the trains heading into queens. she rushed passed every pillar. at typical new yorker's pace. until she came to the stairs heading down towards the lexington express.
"right or left?" she'd always forget this as she walked down the mezzanine with the artistic walls. then she saw the sign for downtown. she made a right. the train wasn't there and she stood there making sure the water from the ceiling wasn't falling on her. something that was common at this station even on good days. she looked left down the tunnel to see the two bright headlights far off in the distance.
she closed her eyes. the sadness hit her. what was going to happen today? when would she see her friends again? how would college be? would she ever see the sun again? the tracks rattled. she looked down to see a rat running across the tracks. she looked left again and focused her eyes on that red light. it was a four. she didn't even realize she backed up as the silver train slid past her. the doors opened and she walked in. "pretty empty" she thought to herself. she looked up at the digital screen on the ceiling it was only 11.34 am. she closed her eyes.
"is...14th street union square. change here for the L, N, Q, R, W, 5, and 6 trains" she looked around. she fell asleep and awoke to the train being empty. "this is a brooklyn bound 4 train the next stop is brooklyn bridge city hall" she knew the next stop was her's. as the train picked up speed out of the station a little girl walked into her car holding her mother's hand. "aww she's cute" as she looked at the girl wearing ballet shoes and a tutu. "we can't be late today" said her mother.
she leaned her head on the window and looked through the window on the other side. bleeker, spring, canal. she saw all of these stations blurring past as she peered through. the map where the ads usually are started flashing at brooklyn bridge. she knew it was her stop but she didn't wan to get up. she grabbed her coat and stood at the doors.
swoosh
she ran up the stairs and walked down the crowded hallway. there he was she saw him by the gates. she walked over. "you should have came and got your transcript" he replied "i kno but i was busy packing i gotta get to the airport by 4:30 tomorrow"
she kissed him. but he did nothing in return. but then again she knew he wasn't into kissing especially on the subway. she grabbed his hand and they walked down the old stairs to the platform that would bring them into brooklyn. the usual "just missed it" crowd was there. as the M sat on the other side of the platform waiting for the green signal. they stood there she glanced at him. but he remained quiet. leaning over to see if the J was coming. she heard water rushing down on the abandoned platform lying in the center of the station.
she leaned over and whispered in his ear "what's wrong?" he shook his head as if to say nothing. all the while his face stayed emotionless. she frowned playfully and went to sit on the bench behind them. he stood in front of her. the M closed it's doors and began to pull out the wind made her cold and when he looked in her eyes it gave her chills. she began to worry.
they sat down on the J partially empty. it pulled out and the sound covered their conversation. the train seemed to be going fast forward and they sat on the train until they got into brooklyn and their car emptied at myrtle ave. it was quiet and the rain began to come down harder as their train waited for the M to pass in front. he began to talk again.
she began to cry. he hugged her. the train pulled out.
"but i love you"
"I'm sorry but you're just not what i love right now. i want you to be with someone who loves you back"
they pulled into broadway junction. she was in tears and he was holding her. she knew he loved her but he was going through something she didn't understand and he wouldn't explain it to her.
"what is it?!"
"i can't i love you too much"
they sat there on the bench at crescent st. trains passing in both directions. "i gotta go" he said. "we'll talk when i get back from germany". she hugged him tight.
"i will always love you"
she walked away towards the stairs. he looked and thought she left as he got onto the next J that would carry him home to jamaica. she sat on the stairs people walking by every few minutes. crying... ten minutes then twenty. the rain had started up again and she knew she had to go downstairs and catch the 13.
she got home and slept. she didn't get up until the next night groggy and tired she looked at the clock. it was off she turned the lights on but nothing. she looked out the window and the water was covering the streets by at least a foot. she opened her cell phone the service was horrible and she couldn't get a call out. so she sent him a text.
-it's crzy over here. no lites. mom is buggin. i hope u hav a gud trip. cll me wen u get there. I'll alwys luv u. miss u lots-
the message was sent. he never got it. the water started rising.
he walked through the doorway into the terminal leaving the pouring new york city rain behind him. the lights flickered for a minute. the scene within the delta terminal was chaotic. people trying to escape the city, people trying to get back home. there he was alone with one suitcase standing in front of the fogged up glass doors he had just walked through. he turned to see his friend's car pulling off to get back on to the flooded van wyck. he looked up at departures on the board in front of him expecting his flight to be delayed. among the rash of cancellations and delays throughout the country there it stood "5:40 PM Delta Flight #78 Berlin-Tegel On Time"
he sighed then looked at his silver watch to see that it was 4:30. he stood there to look at the watch he had just gotten for his birthday last week along with the tickets to go to Berlin to stay with family for a month. before he started college at FIT that fall. a break is what he needed from the roller coaster ride that his senior year was. he just wished his parents were with him. they were stuck in the city because the subways had been closed downtown because of the rain that had been pouring down on the city for the past two weeks. he had began to forget what the sunlight was. he decided to get his ticket and go through security. he walked to the check in area where the crowd was growing by the minute. "i can't believe they canceled another fucking flight!" someone said as he looked up at the ticker tape screen telling people that the last flight for the night to the dominican republic was canceled. he felt bad as he walked past the crowd to one of the small computers.
he watched the short machine spit out his ticket. he walked towards the security line, that was already a chaotic mess. "If you do not have your passport or your flight has been canceled please get off line!" yelled a port authority cop. A hatian woman a few people in front of him had just passed out. he really didn't pay attention because he was so used to the subways this crowd really wasn't too much to handle. as the paramedics took her out of the terminal he just turned his ipod on. 20 minutes passed then 30 and he was still in the line. he looked up at one of the tv screens showing the continuous coverage of the storms across the country. the snow in the midwest, the approaching hurricane in the south, and the constant rain in the north. but that wasn't showing on the screen. the bar at the bottom read "worldwide volcano activity"
wow he thought to himself "it can't get worse than this" as the lights began to flicker for the third time. eventually he got to the metal detectors. it was more confusion and fighting there than anywhere in the airport. "take your shoes off" someone yelled at the crowd. he went through without that annoying screech and stood there putting everything back on. he looked at the board again and his flight was still on time. he thought it was odd because every other flight on the board was delayed. 5:10 read the digital screen that welcomed him to the airport.
he walked to the end of the terminal to get to gate 2 where his plane would be soon. it was a total different story inside. everything was organized aside from the few distraught customers who's flights had been canceled. it was much quieter than downstairs. he even found a seat when he got to his gate. he sat down and just looked out at the runway.
the rain had gotten worse and he no longer could see the ground it was like the ocean that was next to the airport had risen up. there was no longer a ground he felt like a little kid when he walked up to the glass wall to look out. and there his plane was slushing through the water to drop off it's passengers. he looked at his watch it was already 5:30 and the sky had started to darken. he knew that the city was about to have a very bad night.
he sat back down in his plastic seat to look up at one of the screens to see that la palma, a canary island, had erupted and crashed into the atlantic ocean. he knew from a jr. high project that if this ever happened there was a possibility of a mega tsunami that would destroy every coastline along the atlantic ocean. "there are no tsunami warnings at the moment but we will keep you informed"
he wanted to stay in the city with his family but after he called his mom who was still stuck in the city she told him to go. "what would you do? you can't even get home from the airport" he knew it was true as he hung up the phone while he was on line boarding the plane. he felt scared as he walked through the jetway bridge a rush of adrenaline mad him nervous about leaving.
everything else was a blur and after a wait on the tarmac by 6:15 his plane was running through the runway and picked itself up. he looked out and saw the entire city almost everything flooded but just as he looked out the clouds blocked out everything. the plane had gone dark and silent. he drifted off to sleep.
thinking about the day before standing in the drizzle on the J where he was talking to the woman he had just broken up with. the long conversation left him sad and still confused as he lay his head on the sign that read "Crescent Street" he felt bad that he couldn't be completely honest with her but he knew that she wouldn't comprehend what he was saying to her. how he loved her so much but knew that he wouldn't be happy with her. he looked to see her walking away to the end of the platform where she disappeared as she walked down the stairs. but he didn't notice that as he got back on to the train to go home she was sitting there on the stairs crying. because she knew he wasn't telling her everything.
"sir...dinner?" as he awoke..."umm yea do you have chicken?"
he put the food on the tray in front of him and looked at his watch. it would be 8:30 in new york. he looked at the phone in front of him that showed news reports on the small green lcd screen. "massive blackout throughout northeast...tsunami destroys west coast of africa killing millions...tsunami warnings for all atlantic coastlines...nuclear power plant security system failure throughout europe...msnbc news"
"Ohh Shit!"he said along with other people throughout the plane along with the "oh my god" and the "we're all gonna die" he swiped his credit card through the phone and dialed his house number. "beep...this is the department of homeland security the phones in this area have been closed off for emergency use only"
he sat there in a daze. while everyone was panicking and demanding answers. the tv's were turned on to some satellite station. where they said the news.
Africa, South Asia, India, Pacific Islands, and Australia had been barraged with a series of earthquakes and tsunami's all at one immediately claiming the lives of hundreds of millions.
Central Asia had been hit with wild storms creating extreme flooding in mainland china, india, and east russia killing most of the population there.
Europe aside from massive flooding in eastern europe was dealing with a security issue. a new firewall digital security system was put in place for the safety of every nuclear power plant located in the european union. unfortunatley there was a flaw and the system has told itself to self destruct by the next morning.
the americas were dealing with almost everything. from the 19 feet of snow in the central states, to the flooding and incoming tsunami in the east. the west was evacuating because of the pacific tsunami and the earthquakes. while south america seemed unphased by all of this.
"the problem is noone knows about the tsunami over here in the east there's no power and even if there was there is no way to get around." said one of the reporters.
soon after that the channel cut it's feed along with the radio stations. everything seemed to be happening so fast. his head was spinning he went to the bathroom to look in the mirror and to get a grip on what was happening. he knew he'd never see the people he'd loved. he could never see his ex-girlfriend and explain that he loved her and was sorry that he hurt her but that he was living a lie. he wanted to be with his mother and not halfway across the atlantic ocean. he sat on the floor of the bathroom and cried. he looked at his watch to see that it was 10:45 and his plane was gonna be landing in two hours to god knows what.
he took an orange container of pills. and swallowed three benzodiazepines so he could relax. he walked back to his seat to sleep. snoring within a couple of minutes.
the plane shook. and he woke up. "we're landing?" he asked the flight attendant . "we'll see" she replied. he looked out the window to see the sun and berlin with no lights. he sat there and yawned. he wasn't sure what was gonna happen next.
a few minutes passed and the plane looked like it was gonna land as the ground came closer and closer. he wanted to know what happened to his family. then there was a bright flash followed by an extremely loud bang. some of the windows on the plane cracked and others shattered. he looked out of the window to see a huge cloud full of colors speeding towards the plane.
"slam!"
the plane was picked up and rolled hundreds of times until it disintegrated.
everything was destroyed. five point two billion people dead. only people in the middle east and south america were alive. because of the lack of communication because of the destruction of the western world there was no economy and contamination to radiation killed millions in the middle east fairly quickly. war broke out in south america and suicide was a common occurrence. within five years the last child died when his mother hanged herself. the world sat there in silence nothing but the trees. everything else slowly rotted away. humanity was gone.evolution started again.
pt.2
she walked towards the subway from school the excitement swirled in her head. she was done with the classes, the drama, the teachers, the credits. it was the last day and although it had been raining for two weeks already she didn't care. she looked back at the green colored building that was going to be torn down by the end of the summer to make way for a supermarket. in her head she was really sad to know that it was the last time she would see that building she had walked in hundreds of times for the past four years.
but then she looked at her transcript with the art & design seal on it and saw all of the credits were in order and then switched papers to see the acceptance letter she had gotten from Cooper Union. she smiled at herself. not even realizing that she just stepped into a large puddle as she tried to cross 57th.
she opened her red razr. as she dipped into the crowded wendy's full of freshman screaming at the top of their lungs because it was the last day of school. she had to call her boyfriend who sent her a text telling her they needed to talk. she knew this wasn't good but was still excited to be out of high school so it didn't bother her. "hello" she said "umm okay where?" she asked "by the J?...right now?...okay bye"
she put her phone back on the clip. and slid back out of the glass doors and continued to walk uptown. all the way up to the movie theater she passed countless times. to the subway entrance that she hated because of it's steep narrow stairs that she fell down the first week freshman year. down the escalators to the unusually dusty platform for the trains heading into queens. she rushed passed every pillar. at typical new yorker's pace. until she came to the stairs heading down towards the lexington express.
"right or left?" she'd always forget this as she walked down the mezzanine with the artistic walls. then she saw the sign for downtown. she made a right. the train wasn't there and she stood there making sure the water from the ceiling wasn't falling on her. something that was common at this station even on good days. she looked left down the tunnel to see the two bright headlights far off in the distance.
she closed her eyes. the sadness hit her. what was going to happen today? when would she see her friends again? how would college be? would she ever see the sun again? the tracks rattled. she looked down to see a rat running across the tracks. she looked left again and focused her eyes on that red light. it was a four. she didn't even realize she backed up as the silver train slid past her. the doors opened and she walked in. "pretty empty" she thought to herself. she looked up at the digital screen on the ceiling it was only 11.34 am. she closed her eyes.
"is...14th street union square. change here for the L, N, Q, R, W, 5, and 6 trains" she looked around. she fell asleep and awoke to the train being empty. "this is a brooklyn bound 4 train the next stop is brooklyn bridge city hall" she knew the next stop was her's. as the train picked up speed out of the station a little girl walked into her car holding her mother's hand. "aww she's cute" as she looked at the girl wearing ballet shoes and a tutu. "we can't be late today" said her mother.
she leaned her head on the window and looked through the window on the other side. bleeker, spring, canal. she saw all of these stations blurring past as she peered through. the map where the ads usually are started flashing at brooklyn bridge. she knew it was her stop but she didn't wan to get up. she grabbed her coat and stood at the doors.
swoosh
she ran up the stairs and walked down the crowded hallway. there he was she saw him by the gates. she walked over. "you should have came and got your transcript" he replied "i kno but i was busy packing i gotta get to the airport by 4:30 tomorrow"
she kissed him. but he did nothing in return. but then again she knew he wasn't into kissing especially on the subway. she grabbed his hand and they walked down the old stairs to the platform that would bring them into brooklyn. the usual "just missed it" crowd was there. as the M sat on the other side of the platform waiting for the green signal. they stood there she glanced at him. but he remained quiet. leaning over to see if the J was coming. she heard water rushing down on the abandoned platform lying in the center of the station.
she leaned over and whispered in his ear "what's wrong?" he shook his head as if to say nothing. all the while his face stayed emotionless. she frowned playfully and went to sit on the bench behind them. he stood in front of her. the M closed it's doors and began to pull out the wind made her cold and when he looked in her eyes it gave her chills. she began to worry.
they sat down on the J partially empty. it pulled out and the sound covered their conversation. the train seemed to be going fast forward and they sat on the train until they got into brooklyn and their car emptied at myrtle ave. it was quiet and the rain began to come down harder as their train waited for the M to pass in front. he began to talk again.
she began to cry. he hugged her. the train pulled out.
"but i love you"
"I'm sorry but you're just not what i love right now. i want you to be with someone who loves you back"
they pulled into broadway junction. she was in tears and he was holding her. she knew he loved her but he was going through something she didn't understand and he wouldn't explain it to her.
"what is it?!"
"i can't i love you too much"
they sat there on the bench at crescent st. trains passing in both directions. "i gotta go" he said. "we'll talk when i get back from germany". she hugged him tight.
"i will always love you"
she walked away towards the stairs. he looked and thought she left as he got onto the next J that would carry him home to jamaica. she sat on the stairs people walking by every few minutes. crying... ten minutes then twenty. the rain had started up again and she knew she had to go downstairs and catch the 13.
she got home and slept. she didn't get up until the next night groggy and tired she looked at the clock. it was off she turned the lights on but nothing. she looked out the window and the water was covering the streets by at least a foot. she opened her cell phone the service was horrible and she couldn't get a call out. so she sent him a text.
-it's crzy over here. no lites. mom is buggin. i hope u hav a gud trip. cll me wen u get there. I'll alwys luv u. miss u lots-
the message was sent. he never got it. the water started rising.
maze.
the light flickered above his head. it did so every now and again when the u-bahn trains would cross the tracks near his apartment. he sat there at the beige four legged table he had gotten from a friend. he sat there the apartment dark as a cave with that one light swaying over his head. he sat there with his bowl full of chicken broth. the apartment was silent again as the train sped away. the one bedroom apartment was bare. no furnishings in any of the rooms. just the mattress on the bedroom floor and the table.
the building remained still. the deafening silence sent him into euphoria. he leaned back and stared at the ceiling. everything was still, except for the bus that had just dropped people and was pulling off. he looked at his watch, it was 1.30 and there was a chill in the morning air.
he stood up and walked into his bathroom and washed his face. looking in the mirror something caught his eye. he turned around with a jump but he saw nothing. he felt as if he were being watched, he felt someone was in a corner somewhere in his dark apartment staring at him. "that's crazy" he thought to himself. he walked back out and put the bowl into the sink. he thought he left it full but it was too late to check because he had turned the water on already.
the water was turned off. he looked at the wall and sighed. he was thinking of what his life had become. he took out a pill and swallowed it. someone coughed in the hallway. he went to the door and looked out the peep-hole, it was the old man who lived above him. he was catching a flight that morning. one of the evacuation flights to america he had managed to save the money and get out. the building's front door made a loud sound as it closed. he was the last person in the building. the war was supposed to start in three days, and everyone with enough money were leaving. he didn't.
throwing his jacket onto the table he walked into his small empty room. he laid on the bare mattress and listened to the silence. the light in the living room shut off. berlin city officials turned off electricity to all buildings every morning at three. he looked at his watch and turned the green lcd on... it was only 1.45.
placing his head back on his pillow he heard the train screeching by, he thought it was odd since the last train every night was at 1.30. the piercing sound didn't stop. it didn't slow down to pull into the station, neither did it brush past and continue off into the city. it was a constant stream of screaming metal. it wouldn't stop. it was driving him mad.
he threw his fists onto the mattress and in that instant the sound stopped.. the silence resumed the building seemed lifeless, the street seemed lifeless, the city seemed lifeless. he saw on the news while riding the train home from work that 73% of the city had evacuated to britain and america. the threat from russia was even worse than he suspected. and all of this fighting was over ownership of land on the moon settlements. he then realized it was already 2034, where did his life go? he was already 45.
something fell in the apartment above him, smashing on the floor above his head. no one else was in the building. they had all left. the old man was sitting in a cab now to tegel transit center to catch a flight out, maybe it was something he left on a counter. but then it happened again. like someone was throwing glass in the apartment upstairs. he started to sweat and he felt the adrenaline rush through his body. there was nothing he could do except lay there. the silence recovered and everything remained dead.
he laid there and couldn't get to sleep. the murmur of the city wasn't there and the silence was piercing his ears. it was unbearable. he saw something rush across his doorway and jumped up again. but it was too dark to get up and look, he would fall or something. that eerie sense of being watched struck him again. he stared at a corner in his room.
something started to slide down the side of the wall. a dark like broke the flow of the dull white. it slid down over a larger area against one wall. he was staring at his wall. he stood up to look at it and walk over to the wall. he wiped a finger across the wall and walked back to the window on the other side of the room. the streetlight glowed on his hand. it was red, his wall was leaking blood. he turned to look at it but it was gone. the dull white reemerged and the blood was gone, he looked out of the doorway and sensed something was staring at him. a dark figure stood in his small apartment staring at him. his body began to tingle and the goose bumps covered his body.
"what do you want?!" he screamed loudly. and the figure was gone.
he stood there for the next twenty minutes. before he decided to lay back down. his head was playing tricks on him. he laid back down and stayed awake. hours later he looked at his watch and it was 4.01. his eyes had become heavy and he was losing the battle with sleep. he nodded of.
something grabbed him and pressed down on his throat. he struggled to get free but failed he was being choked and punched in the head. the struggle ended.
he woke up in his old apartment, with his wife and kids. before they moved to britain. he felt strange because the night before his life was different. he thought it was a dream and walked into the kitchen to see the back of his wife as she stood at the stove getting ready to make breakfast.
"honey can you get the eggs? i can't see a thing." she asked him. he quietly walked to the refrigerator and got the eggs. he stood up to face her and he gasped. her eyes were gone and filled with worms. the kids turned to face him and he saw they suffered the same condition.
his nightmare continued again and again. they stared at him from a glass window. he was strapped to the bed and was shaking. "it's been three weeks and he's still suffering from brain damaging stress" one of the doctors said. the alarms sounded as bombs were dropped in the distance. he screamed in agony.
he was trapped in his mind.
the building remained still. the deafening silence sent him into euphoria. he leaned back and stared at the ceiling. everything was still, except for the bus that had just dropped people and was pulling off. he looked at his watch, it was 1.30 and there was a chill in the morning air.
he stood up and walked into his bathroom and washed his face. looking in the mirror something caught his eye. he turned around with a jump but he saw nothing. he felt as if he were being watched, he felt someone was in a corner somewhere in his dark apartment staring at him. "that's crazy" he thought to himself. he walked back out and put the bowl into the sink. he thought he left it full but it was too late to check because he had turned the water on already.
the water was turned off. he looked at the wall and sighed. he was thinking of what his life had become. he took out a pill and swallowed it. someone coughed in the hallway. he went to the door and looked out the peep-hole, it was the old man who lived above him. he was catching a flight that morning. one of the evacuation flights to america he had managed to save the money and get out. the building's front door made a loud sound as it closed. he was the last person in the building. the war was supposed to start in three days, and everyone with enough money were leaving. he didn't.
throwing his jacket onto the table he walked into his small empty room. he laid on the bare mattress and listened to the silence. the light in the living room shut off. berlin city officials turned off electricity to all buildings every morning at three. he looked at his watch and turned the green lcd on... it was only 1.45.
placing his head back on his pillow he heard the train screeching by, he thought it was odd since the last train every night was at 1.30. the piercing sound didn't stop. it didn't slow down to pull into the station, neither did it brush past and continue off into the city. it was a constant stream of screaming metal. it wouldn't stop. it was driving him mad.
he threw his fists onto the mattress and in that instant the sound stopped.. the silence resumed the building seemed lifeless, the street seemed lifeless, the city seemed lifeless. he saw on the news while riding the train home from work that 73% of the city had evacuated to britain and america. the threat from russia was even worse than he suspected. and all of this fighting was over ownership of land on the moon settlements. he then realized it was already 2034, where did his life go? he was already 45.
something fell in the apartment above him, smashing on the floor above his head. no one else was in the building. they had all left. the old man was sitting in a cab now to tegel transit center to catch a flight out, maybe it was something he left on a counter. but then it happened again. like someone was throwing glass in the apartment upstairs. he started to sweat and he felt the adrenaline rush through his body. there was nothing he could do except lay there. the silence recovered and everything remained dead.
he laid there and couldn't get to sleep. the murmur of the city wasn't there and the silence was piercing his ears. it was unbearable. he saw something rush across his doorway and jumped up again. but it was too dark to get up and look, he would fall or something. that eerie sense of being watched struck him again. he stared at a corner in his room.
something started to slide down the side of the wall. a dark like broke the flow of the dull white. it slid down over a larger area against one wall. he was staring at his wall. he stood up to look at it and walk over to the wall. he wiped a finger across the wall and walked back to the window on the other side of the room. the streetlight glowed on his hand. it was red, his wall was leaking blood. he turned to look at it but it was gone. the dull white reemerged and the blood was gone, he looked out of the doorway and sensed something was staring at him. a dark figure stood in his small apartment staring at him. his body began to tingle and the goose bumps covered his body.
"what do you want?!" he screamed loudly. and the figure was gone.
he stood there for the next twenty minutes. before he decided to lay back down. his head was playing tricks on him. he laid back down and stayed awake. hours later he looked at his watch and it was 4.01. his eyes had become heavy and he was losing the battle with sleep. he nodded of.
something grabbed him and pressed down on his throat. he struggled to get free but failed he was being choked and punched in the head. the struggle ended.
he woke up in his old apartment, with his wife and kids. before they moved to britain. he felt strange because the night before his life was different. he thought it was a dream and walked into the kitchen to see the back of his wife as she stood at the stove getting ready to make breakfast.
"honey can you get the eggs? i can't see a thing." she asked him. he quietly walked to the refrigerator and got the eggs. he stood up to face her and he gasped. her eyes were gone and filled with worms. the kids turned to face him and he saw they suffered the same condition.
his nightmare continued again and again. they stared at him from a glass window. he was strapped to the bed and was shaking. "it's been three weeks and he's still suffering from brain damaging stress" one of the doctors said. the alarms sounded as bombs were dropped in the distance. he screamed in agony.
he was trapped in his mind.
lucid.
i had some inspiration from this weeks events and other people's ignorance of how everyone has to have been teased to snap. unfortunately teasing is not always the case of morbid violence.
it wasn't a big deal. he just had weird dreams. they were just viciously realistic.
but they had gone away, or so he thought. it hadn't been a problem since he was a little kid. those restless nights where he would wake up screaming and washing his hands in the bathroom. every night he had woken up in the bathroom with the scolding hot water running. eventually everyone in the house he lived in would grow accustomed to it and sleep through his screams. he would sit in the bathroom and cry for hours because of his visually realistic dreams. the dreams of murder where he would kill animals and slam them on the concrete of the street.
they had began to occur once more. but he thought nothing of them because he himself had grown accustomed to them. there he sat sitting on the long island rail road train as it began to slowly pull out of penn station. he was on the older train and the lights went off and it rocked from side to side. the only thing that emerged from the darkness was the emergency instructions poster that was a light green glowing in the dark.
he took out his fiji water bottle from his briefcase and opened the orange pill tube that was in his black trench coat folded over his lap. he unscrewed the orange container and shook two pills into his hand. then he unscrewed the bottle and swallowed them both. it was the medicine his doctor had prescribed him, they were supposed to decrease your awareness in dreams and seeing as he'd be on that train for two hours he anticipated falling asleep. he put the briefcase down on the floor and glanced at his watch. it was 8.54 and the had just emerged into queens. he looked up out the window at the dark sky above and stared at the 7 train tracks before they passed beneath queens blvd.
he sat there in silence looking out of the window. the train wasn't empty yet it wasn't packed. there were people scattered all throughout the train as was typical at 9 on a Friday night. he looked around and then quickly back out as the rain had began to pour on the city.
the train was an express and he watched the blur of trees, cars, lights, stations, and houses. it was intoxicating to see everything speed by. and he drifted asleep to the swoosh of another train going into the city passing by. he thought he was awoken as the train creased it's way into jamaica station. the doors opened and a handful of people deboarded. the train stood there as an announcement was made of the upcoming stations. "the next stop on this train is new hyde park"
he knew he was still dreaming because he looked at his watch and couldn't see the time. he knew this was a reaction to a lucid dream, he was having a dream that his conscious was aware of. he hated these dreams. these were the violent dreams. "the pills must've not have been fast acting" he thought to himself. he just sat there hoping the dream would fade out.
he stared out of the window as the train slowly disembarked the station. it began to pick up speed and the windows were all blurred the darkness consumed the outside world and he couldn't see anything other than his own reflection against the glass.
he laid his head back on the navy blue seat. he sat there and thought of everything that went through his life. rage had suddenly filled his head, an uncontrollable rage that he had no clue why he was angry. the dreams usually made him feel like it and so he didn't try to wake up because he'd probably start screaming on the train.
at that time it felt like he was two people. a person filled with hatred and anger towards everything around him, and then there was the other normal person that would rationalize everything and control every situation. in his dreams though the angry side would reveal itself. he decided to just let the dream continue uninterrupted because he needed the sleep. it was as if he were watching a horror movie in his head.
the train glided past queens village at a high rate of speed. he dug into his briefcase and took out the box cutter. he worked in an architecture firm and would bring it in everyday for his projects. he didn't know why he took it out. he stood up and began walking through the aisle of the train.
the rage filled his head he couldn't control what he was doing. the emergency break was pulled right after the train passed bellerose station. people were screaming, he knew he was still dreaming.
he woke up in the bathroom of the train washing his hands. the train was stopped for some odd reason and there were people yelling throughout the train. he didn't know why because his door was closed.
someone began slamming on the door. "hold on!" he yelled as he dried his hands, he stared at himself in the mirror and was obviously shaken by his dream. the slamming continued and as he turned around to face the door it swung open off the hinges.
he screamed as he was tackled to the floor by the nassau county police officers. he panicked as the grabbed his arms and threw the handcuffs on him. he was confused by what was going on and didn't see anything as he was taken off the train that stood idle in the middle of the tracks.
he walked down the hill from the tracks asking "what happened?"
one of the police officers said under their breath "sick fuck"
he sat there in the interrogation room waiting for an explanation of why he was arrested.
when he found out he was horrified at what he had done.
16 people killed on a train and 4 in the hospital all with stab wounds.
he went into shock and was later placed in creedmoor psychiatric center, never regaining his healthy conscious.
it wasn't a big deal. he just had weird dreams. they were just viciously realistic.
but they had gone away, or so he thought. it hadn't been a problem since he was a little kid. those restless nights where he would wake up screaming and washing his hands in the bathroom. every night he had woken up in the bathroom with the scolding hot water running. eventually everyone in the house he lived in would grow accustomed to it and sleep through his screams. he would sit in the bathroom and cry for hours because of his visually realistic dreams. the dreams of murder where he would kill animals and slam them on the concrete of the street.
they had began to occur once more. but he thought nothing of them because he himself had grown accustomed to them. there he sat sitting on the long island rail road train as it began to slowly pull out of penn station. he was on the older train and the lights went off and it rocked from side to side. the only thing that emerged from the darkness was the emergency instructions poster that was a light green glowing in the dark.
he took out his fiji water bottle from his briefcase and opened the orange pill tube that was in his black trench coat folded over his lap. he unscrewed the orange container and shook two pills into his hand. then he unscrewed the bottle and swallowed them both. it was the medicine his doctor had prescribed him, they were supposed to decrease your awareness in dreams and seeing as he'd be on that train for two hours he anticipated falling asleep. he put the briefcase down on the floor and glanced at his watch. it was 8.54 and the had just emerged into queens. he looked up out the window at the dark sky above and stared at the 7 train tracks before they passed beneath queens blvd.
he sat there in silence looking out of the window. the train wasn't empty yet it wasn't packed. there were people scattered all throughout the train as was typical at 9 on a Friday night. he looked around and then quickly back out as the rain had began to pour on the city.
the train was an express and he watched the blur of trees, cars, lights, stations, and houses. it was intoxicating to see everything speed by. and he drifted asleep to the swoosh of another train going into the city passing by. he thought he was awoken as the train creased it's way into jamaica station. the doors opened and a handful of people deboarded. the train stood there as an announcement was made of the upcoming stations. "the next stop on this train is new hyde park"
he knew he was still dreaming because he looked at his watch and couldn't see the time. he knew this was a reaction to a lucid dream, he was having a dream that his conscious was aware of. he hated these dreams. these were the violent dreams. "the pills must've not have been fast acting" he thought to himself. he just sat there hoping the dream would fade out.
he stared out of the window as the train slowly disembarked the station. it began to pick up speed and the windows were all blurred the darkness consumed the outside world and he couldn't see anything other than his own reflection against the glass.
he laid his head back on the navy blue seat. he sat there and thought of everything that went through his life. rage had suddenly filled his head, an uncontrollable rage that he had no clue why he was angry. the dreams usually made him feel like it and so he didn't try to wake up because he'd probably start screaming on the train.
at that time it felt like he was two people. a person filled with hatred and anger towards everything around him, and then there was the other normal person that would rationalize everything and control every situation. in his dreams though the angry side would reveal itself. he decided to just let the dream continue uninterrupted because he needed the sleep. it was as if he were watching a horror movie in his head.
the train glided past queens village at a high rate of speed. he dug into his briefcase and took out the box cutter. he worked in an architecture firm and would bring it in everyday for his projects. he didn't know why he took it out. he stood up and began walking through the aisle of the train.
the rage filled his head he couldn't control what he was doing. the emergency break was pulled right after the train passed bellerose station. people were screaming, he knew he was still dreaming.
he woke up in the bathroom of the train washing his hands. the train was stopped for some odd reason and there were people yelling throughout the train. he didn't know why because his door was closed.
someone began slamming on the door. "hold on!" he yelled as he dried his hands, he stared at himself in the mirror and was obviously shaken by his dream. the slamming continued and as he turned around to face the door it swung open off the hinges.
he screamed as he was tackled to the floor by the nassau county police officers. he panicked as the grabbed his arms and threw the handcuffs on him. he was confused by what was going on and didn't see anything as he was taken off the train that stood idle in the middle of the tracks.
he walked down the hill from the tracks asking "what happened?"
one of the police officers said under their breath "sick fuck"
he sat there in the interrogation room waiting for an explanation of why he was arrested.
when he found out he was horrified at what he had done.
16 people killed on a train and 4 in the hospital all with stab wounds.
he went into shock and was later placed in creedmoor psychiatric center, never regaining his healthy conscious.
accepted.
the screeches woke him out of his deep coma. it was the 9.30 southeastern train pulling into the station eight floors below him. his window was open from earlier when his friend was over. he opened his eyes to face the dull white door and the light blue walls. he turned the light in his room on he'd been asleep for three hours.
he got up from the bed and threw the joint he had smoked hours earlier out of the window. he picked up the envelope he had gotten in the mail from the London South Bank University, it was his acceptance letter. he didn't tell his mom or his sister yet they just got home a few minutes ago. like they did every Friday night when they walked around Canary Wharf.
he opened his door and walked down the hallway into the living room and saw his sister at the desk on the computer clicking on myspace.
"wusup buttface" he said as he kissed her on the forehead.
"where's mum?"
she told him and he threw himself onto the black couch in the living room as his mother opened the door from the bathroom. she greeted him as he laid on the couch with his feet in the air holding the envelope in the air for her to take.
"guess what" he told he nonchalantly as he turned the tv on to channel u so he could watch some videos.
she remained quiet as if she were ignoring him while she opened the flap to the envelope with the red "royal mail" stamp on it. she read it quietly and then gasped.
his sister turned around and asked "what is it mum?"
his mom began to smile and laugh as she smacked him in the head with the letter. "how do you walk in here all normal?" as she jumped over the couch onto his stomach and said "congratulations!" his sister got up and stood there demanding to know what was going on.
"your brother got into a good college here in london"
"cool" she replied and grabbed the remote from him so she could watch family guy on channel 4.
his mom walked into the kitchen saying "I'll make you anything you want as long as you go to the store and get some milk"
he replied "but mom i ran out of money on my oyster card i can't catch the bus and go to tesco."
she told him to go to happy shopper across the train tracks.
he hated walking into that store. the cheapest place in the city only poor people shopped there and every time he'd walk back into his building with that bag someone would make fun of him.
but he walked back into his room and put his hoodie on. he grabbed his cellphone, ipod, and his blade just to be safe.
I'll be back he yelled to his mom, with his sister laughing hysterically at the tv taking off the school uniform she was wearing.
"do that in your room nasty!" he yelled out before his door closed and he locked it. before he placed the white headphones on he could hear his mom screaming at his sister,he laughed to himself while walking down the dark hallway.
he stood at the elevator doors waiting. he realized they were broken again and began to make his way down the stairs.
he despised the stairs in his council estate. especially at this time of night. Ferrier Estate was not a good place to live and he knew that. His mom was just waiting for the transfer papers so she could move into another estate. since they were planning on tearing down the entire housing area, all 46 buildings.
"the biggest council estate in all of london" he said to himself remembering someone said it one night while he was sitting on the bus to get home.
he walked down the stairs and made it to the back of the building. he walked past the group of people standing at the door. he thought one of them said something to him but his headphones were on and he wasn't going to turn around to double check.
he ran across the small street that made a loop around the estate barely dodging a meeting with the 178 bus.
he walked up the stairs to the train station and walked through it's parking lot to get to the street higher above. he felt like someone was following him but then again it always felt like that at 10 oclock at night walking through his neighborhood.
he had done this walk what felt like a million times before. he stepped to a beat as he walked across the bridge feeling the train pass beneath his feet. he wished the bridge wasn't barricaded he loved watching them pass from below. but too many kids were throwing rocks and garbage as soon as an express train would speed by.
he remembered that night he was watching bbc one. some kid had dropped a large rock in front of a train and the conductor was blinded and two others were killed because the train hit it's emergency breaks.
he felt like getting on one of those trains and going to the city, just then his phone vibrated. he opened it and read the text message
"yo bruv..we chillen in souf london tonite. u wanna come? meet us at the london bridge station"
he sent back a text "aight mate...gotta bring some milk home and then imma get on the next train out"
he crossed the busy intersection where his friend was hit by a bus a few years back and then he made his way into the "happy shopper" passing the cartoon figure of the white guy with a big smile on his face...the one someone drew a blunt on from his mouth.
he walked in and quickly walked to the back. the asian guy at the counter watched him because the cameras all over the store had stopped working that night.
he paid the money and walked out, with the white plastic bag in his hand and the guy smiling on the side.
he decided he'd walk another way because he didn't feel like walking across all those streets.
he walked through the store's parking lot and made his way through some trees to get to the bike path.
he forgot it was so dark because the city didn't always light up the path at night. nonetheless he continued on around all the curves that were surrounded by trees. he liked the paths because the were like a haven away from his home.
he was so wrapped up in excitement that he didn't see the group of people walking in the opposite direction.
closer and closer they got and he began to realize they were the same people that were in the back of his building. he didn't care he was a minute away from the bridge to take him back across the tracks to his building.
he continued to walk and they got closer. his music was still blasting.
they surrounded him and one of the people from the group of four grabbed his headphones and pulled them from his ears.
"ayo bruv!"he screamed aloud.
he tried to reach for his blade but another heavyset one punched him in the face as he dropped the milk on the floor.
they began to kick him in his face and stomach as he laid on the asphalt. he knew he was being "happy slapped" because he saw it on youtube one day. the popular game in the uk where kids would go around attacking people and then take pictures.
he knew it because someone's cellphone was out and he heard the clickings.
the picked up his legs and all of his stuff came out.
they grabbed his cellphone from the ground and ran away.
he laid there in the dark breathing heavy, it was his asthma. he felt his pockets for his pump, he turned his head and saw it was deep into the trees breathing faster and faster they must have kicked it when they were running off.
he tried to pull his body to the pump sliding through the leaves and milk that was on the floor he tried and tried.
he fell to the ground it had been three minutes he stared at the pump. his chest felt heavy and he laid motionless. the 10.11 train from london bridge pulled out of the train station. he was staring in the direction of the tracks as his eyes began to close.
the body laid there covered in milk, while four teens were laughing and running away.
his mother and sister worried where he was, every time they called his cell someone would pick up and laugh. they had made his favorite food and were waiting for him to get home.
his acceptance letter lay on his bed as the sun rose the next morning. when the runners began their morning ritual
he got up from the bed and threw the joint he had smoked hours earlier out of the window. he picked up the envelope he had gotten in the mail from the London South Bank University, it was his acceptance letter. he didn't tell his mom or his sister yet they just got home a few minutes ago. like they did every Friday night when they walked around Canary Wharf.
he opened his door and walked down the hallway into the living room and saw his sister at the desk on the computer clicking on myspace.
"wusup buttface" he said as he kissed her on the forehead.
"where's mum?"
she told him and he threw himself onto the black couch in the living room as his mother opened the door from the bathroom. she greeted him as he laid on the couch with his feet in the air holding the envelope in the air for her to take.
"guess what" he told he nonchalantly as he turned the tv on to channel u so he could watch some videos.
she remained quiet as if she were ignoring him while she opened the flap to the envelope with the red "royal mail" stamp on it. she read it quietly and then gasped.
his sister turned around and asked "what is it mum?"
his mom began to smile and laugh as she smacked him in the head with the letter. "how do you walk in here all normal?" as she jumped over the couch onto his stomach and said "congratulations!" his sister got up and stood there demanding to know what was going on.
"your brother got into a good college here in london"
"cool" she replied and grabbed the remote from him so she could watch family guy on channel 4.
his mom walked into the kitchen saying "I'll make you anything you want as long as you go to the store and get some milk"
he replied "but mom i ran out of money on my oyster card i can't catch the bus and go to tesco."
she told him to go to happy shopper across the train tracks.
he hated walking into that store. the cheapest place in the city only poor people shopped there and every time he'd walk back into his building with that bag someone would make fun of him.
but he walked back into his room and put his hoodie on. he grabbed his cellphone, ipod, and his blade just to be safe.
I'll be back he yelled to his mom, with his sister laughing hysterically at the tv taking off the school uniform she was wearing.
"do that in your room nasty!" he yelled out before his door closed and he locked it. before he placed the white headphones on he could hear his mom screaming at his sister,he laughed to himself while walking down the dark hallway.
he stood at the elevator doors waiting. he realized they were broken again and began to make his way down the stairs.
he despised the stairs in his council estate. especially at this time of night. Ferrier Estate was not a good place to live and he knew that. His mom was just waiting for the transfer papers so she could move into another estate. since they were planning on tearing down the entire housing area, all 46 buildings.
"the biggest council estate in all of london" he said to himself remembering someone said it one night while he was sitting on the bus to get home.
he walked down the stairs and made it to the back of the building. he walked past the group of people standing at the door. he thought one of them said something to him but his headphones were on and he wasn't going to turn around to double check.
he ran across the small street that made a loop around the estate barely dodging a meeting with the 178 bus.
he walked up the stairs to the train station and walked through it's parking lot to get to the street higher above. he felt like someone was following him but then again it always felt like that at 10 oclock at night walking through his neighborhood.
he had done this walk what felt like a million times before. he stepped to a beat as he walked across the bridge feeling the train pass beneath his feet. he wished the bridge wasn't barricaded he loved watching them pass from below. but too many kids were throwing rocks and garbage as soon as an express train would speed by.
he remembered that night he was watching bbc one. some kid had dropped a large rock in front of a train and the conductor was blinded and two others were killed because the train hit it's emergency breaks.
he felt like getting on one of those trains and going to the city, just then his phone vibrated. he opened it and read the text message
"yo bruv..we chillen in souf london tonite. u wanna come? meet us at the london bridge station"
he sent back a text "aight mate...gotta bring some milk home and then imma get on the next train out"
he crossed the busy intersection where his friend was hit by a bus a few years back and then he made his way into the "happy shopper" passing the cartoon figure of the white guy with a big smile on his face...the one someone drew a blunt on from his mouth.
he walked in and quickly walked to the back. the asian guy at the counter watched him because the cameras all over the store had stopped working that night.
he paid the money and walked out, with the white plastic bag in his hand and the guy smiling on the side.
he decided he'd walk another way because he didn't feel like walking across all those streets.
he walked through the store's parking lot and made his way through some trees to get to the bike path.
he forgot it was so dark because the city didn't always light up the path at night. nonetheless he continued on around all the curves that were surrounded by trees. he liked the paths because the were like a haven away from his home.
he was so wrapped up in excitement that he didn't see the group of people walking in the opposite direction.
closer and closer they got and he began to realize they were the same people that were in the back of his building. he didn't care he was a minute away from the bridge to take him back across the tracks to his building.
he continued to walk and they got closer. his music was still blasting.
they surrounded him and one of the people from the group of four grabbed his headphones and pulled them from his ears.
"ayo bruv!"he screamed aloud.
he tried to reach for his blade but another heavyset one punched him in the face as he dropped the milk on the floor.
they began to kick him in his face and stomach as he laid on the asphalt. he knew he was being "happy slapped" because he saw it on youtube one day. the popular game in the uk where kids would go around attacking people and then take pictures.
he knew it because someone's cellphone was out and he heard the clickings.
the picked up his legs and all of his stuff came out.
they grabbed his cellphone from the ground and ran away.
he laid there in the dark breathing heavy, it was his asthma. he felt his pockets for his pump, he turned his head and saw it was deep into the trees breathing faster and faster they must have kicked it when they were running off.
he tried to pull his body to the pump sliding through the leaves and milk that was on the floor he tried and tried.
he fell to the ground it had been three minutes he stared at the pump. his chest felt heavy and he laid motionless. the 10.11 train from london bridge pulled out of the train station. he was staring in the direction of the tracks as his eyes began to close.
the body laid there covered in milk, while four teens were laughing and running away.
his mother and sister worried where he was, every time they called his cell someone would pick up and laugh. they had made his favorite food and were waiting for him to get home.
his acceptance letter lay on his bed as the sun rose the next morning. when the runners began their morning ritual
one way.
she walked up from the stairs on francis lewis blvd.
she was out of breath as she had to run across the sunrise highway because the light changed while she was in the middle.
she stood at the ticket machine and struggled to get her ticket. she never was good at using those touch screens, and the ones on the long island rail road were the worst.
she smoothed out her wrinkled $5 bill in her hands and slid it in and then fit the two quarters into the other slot. her ticket slid to the bottom of the machine and she grabbed it. leaving behind the two dollar coins that fell with it.
she walked toward the back of the platform because that's what the directions told her to do.
she laid the bookbag on the floor. she was afraid someone might take it.
then she sat at one of the benches facing the wrong side of the tracks, she looked to her left and stared at entire green acres mall complex.
the train caught her eye. it was going in her direction but she was told not to get on it.
the other train pulled in at the same time. the windstorm created by one of the trains threw her hair up in the air.
it settled as the screeching brakes mad her teeth clench.
the doors opened and everyone rushed onto one of the trains that would carry them into the depths of the urban mass of new york.
noone got off the other train, noone got on.
they both closed the doors and pulled off at the same time.
she looked up at the lcd screen. it read 7.34.
unprotected by the trains the wind hit her face like a slap from a child.
the cold rainy day that was April 4th,2007.
the station remained empty. it was a holiday and the kids had spring break today was supposed to be a quiet commute.
she sat in silence and stared below at the collection of cars on the sunrise highway that were stopped at the light again.
she only heard the traffic and the wind.
the thoughts began to interrupt her mind, the ones of what she was doing today, the memories of her brother when he was younger, the sadness that had overcome her began to be visible.
she clenched her fists and forced her elbows into her legs.
leaning her face into her fists she began to breathe heavy.
she couldn't control her lungs and began to think that she was hyperventilating.
she leaned back and sighed. as an express train screeched by her.
she pushed her hair behind her ears.
leaning back she drifted off to sleep, or tried to.
the rain woke her up. it had begun to fall faster.
someone behind her had began a coughing spell.
looking at the screen above she knew it was 8.00. and there were a few minutes before her train was scheduled to pull in.
she stood up and put the bookbag on her back.
she walked to the other side of the platform and looked to her right to see the headlights of the train just off in the distance.
she noticed that more people had crowded onto the platform in the last three minutes and before she could turn around the silver train was pulling into the station.
the one large door slid open and she crowded in.
she got to the middle and saw an empty seat in the last row, she sat down and made sure her book bag was secure.
"this penn station bound train is calling at laurelton, locust manor, jamaica, woodside, and penn station"
the bells rang and all of the doors closed. the air conditioner was turned on and the train was chilling.
she stared blankly out of the window. all of the small houses that littered south queens, the quiet yet notoriously dangerous place of queens.
she knew it as home and always knew that it was part of the city everyone ignored.
but she always felt ignored by the government.
even when her family found out that day that her brother had been killed in iraq.
all she knew was that he was killed by "friendly fire"
but yet noone gave them any answers it was all in secured files stashed somewhere.
she had a right to know what really happened to her little brother.
yet she got no answers and it took 2 months to get his body.
everyone told her that there was nothing she could do.
that the government would never tell her anything. she knew that this was true but she still had to do something.
that's why her and twelve others would hold their own demonstration in protest to the government.
the train passed over the belt parkway and began to slow as it continued left at a junction, it pulled into laurelton.
the train began to fill up as it usually did here, during rush hour. she had ridden this train so many times she could probably drive the train herself.
but she didn't think about that today she was lost in thought.
she replayed that scene when she left the house this morning.
when she laid the note on her mother's nightstand.
"where you goin so early?"
"i got called into to work ma...get some sleep it's your day off"
she locked the door and closed the gate. and walked away without even looking back.
the train jerked to a stop she hadn't even noticed that they had pulled off already.
the doors opened at locust manor. she looked across the train and looked out of the windows to see the rochdale housing complex.
as a kid she was amazed by them, she wasn't used to seeing tall towers away from the city, especially twenty towers so closely packed together.
she still stared in awe even if she spent all of her teenage years there with the late nights laughing and waiting for the 85 to come. back when the bus was $1.
when life was easier.
the train pulled out and started to speed faster and faster. there were no more stops until jamaica and her insides began to twist.
that nervous feeling she had dreaded every time something got her nervous. the train passed baisley projects and she knew how long until she pulled into the station. an announcement came over the intercom.
"attention passengers to ensure your safety police and mta transit officers have the right to request your bag be searched. we appreciate your cooperation in helping us stay safe"
she looked out of her window and saw her reflection, she was sweating.
then she looked out against the cloudy sky. she stared at the york college campus. the train then began to shake and rattle as it turned onto the mainline and switchover tracks.
the train slowed down to a crawl as it emerged from beneath a viaduct. she glanced at the center of jamaica. the movie theatre that noone went to but was always crowded. and all of the other government offices, warehouses, and parking lots.
the train pulled into the center platform.
"jamaica...transfer here for service to brooklyn"
the train took forever to come to a complete stop. she got up and grabbed her bag.
she got three text messages when she got up.
all from different people, all saying the same thing.
"ready"
she knew that everyone else knew what they were doing.
the two people at the lirr station in flushing.
the four people at flatbush terminal in brooklyn
and the two others in grand central and penn station.
they all were doing thi for the same reason, to show that the country was alienating it's own people by going after other's who weren't enemy's to begin with.
she stood in the middle of the platform and looked at the clock it read 8.19.
the timer was set on a satellite timer.
she stood there and watched as another train pulled into the same platform but on the next track.
the train she had just gotten off was waiting for people to transfer.
the doors opened.
people ran past her in both directions to catch their trains.
she stood there and looked up at the glass ceiling.
an explosion came from the left of her. the airtrain station was throwing glass down upon the station. people were screaming and running.
then she heard a click.
she exploded.
then another
then a fourth.
three minutes later two explosions went off on the train station in flushing. the bridge platform came crashing upon buses cars and people on main st.
at the same time there were four explosions on the subway and lirr platforms in the flatbush complex throwing people into a panic and trampling others onto the tracks.
the last two occurred ten minutes later. when the metro north and long island rail road system had shut their systems down.
people crowded around the escalators at penn station to see what was wrong with the trains.
people packed into the main hall of the grand central terminal to see what was wrong with the trains.
then the noise came.
and the screams came.
and the crowds ran.
new york city showed it's vulnerable side.
she was out of breath as she had to run across the sunrise highway because the light changed while she was in the middle.
she stood at the ticket machine and struggled to get her ticket. she never was good at using those touch screens, and the ones on the long island rail road were the worst.
she smoothed out her wrinkled $5 bill in her hands and slid it in and then fit the two quarters into the other slot. her ticket slid to the bottom of the machine and she grabbed it. leaving behind the two dollar coins that fell with it.
she walked toward the back of the platform because that's what the directions told her to do.
she laid the bookbag on the floor. she was afraid someone might take it.
then she sat at one of the benches facing the wrong side of the tracks, she looked to her left and stared at entire green acres mall complex.
the train caught her eye. it was going in her direction but she was told not to get on it.
the other train pulled in at the same time. the windstorm created by one of the trains threw her hair up in the air.
it settled as the screeching brakes mad her teeth clench.
the doors opened and everyone rushed onto one of the trains that would carry them into the depths of the urban mass of new york.
noone got off the other train, noone got on.
they both closed the doors and pulled off at the same time.
she looked up at the lcd screen. it read 7.34.
unprotected by the trains the wind hit her face like a slap from a child.
the cold rainy day that was April 4th,2007.
the station remained empty. it was a holiday and the kids had spring break today was supposed to be a quiet commute.
she sat in silence and stared below at the collection of cars on the sunrise highway that were stopped at the light again.
she only heard the traffic and the wind.
the thoughts began to interrupt her mind, the ones of what she was doing today, the memories of her brother when he was younger, the sadness that had overcome her began to be visible.
she clenched her fists and forced her elbows into her legs.
leaning her face into her fists she began to breathe heavy.
she couldn't control her lungs and began to think that she was hyperventilating.
she leaned back and sighed. as an express train screeched by her.
she pushed her hair behind her ears.
leaning back she drifted off to sleep, or tried to.
the rain woke her up. it had begun to fall faster.
someone behind her had began a coughing spell.
looking at the screen above she knew it was 8.00. and there were a few minutes before her train was scheduled to pull in.
she stood up and put the bookbag on her back.
she walked to the other side of the platform and looked to her right to see the headlights of the train just off in the distance.
she noticed that more people had crowded onto the platform in the last three minutes and before she could turn around the silver train was pulling into the station.
the one large door slid open and she crowded in.
she got to the middle and saw an empty seat in the last row, she sat down and made sure her book bag was secure.
"this penn station bound train is calling at laurelton, locust manor, jamaica, woodside, and penn station"
the bells rang and all of the doors closed. the air conditioner was turned on and the train was chilling.
she stared blankly out of the window. all of the small houses that littered south queens, the quiet yet notoriously dangerous place of queens.
she knew it as home and always knew that it was part of the city everyone ignored.
but she always felt ignored by the government.
even when her family found out that day that her brother had been killed in iraq.
all she knew was that he was killed by "friendly fire"
but yet noone gave them any answers it was all in secured files stashed somewhere.
she had a right to know what really happened to her little brother.
yet she got no answers and it took 2 months to get his body.
everyone told her that there was nothing she could do.
that the government would never tell her anything. she knew that this was true but she still had to do something.
that's why her and twelve others would hold their own demonstration in protest to the government.
the train passed over the belt parkway and began to slow as it continued left at a junction, it pulled into laurelton.
the train began to fill up as it usually did here, during rush hour. she had ridden this train so many times she could probably drive the train herself.
but she didn't think about that today she was lost in thought.
she replayed that scene when she left the house this morning.
when she laid the note on her mother's nightstand.
"where you goin so early?"
"i got called into to work ma...get some sleep it's your day off"
she locked the door and closed the gate. and walked away without even looking back.
the train jerked to a stop she hadn't even noticed that they had pulled off already.
the doors opened at locust manor. she looked across the train and looked out of the windows to see the rochdale housing complex.
as a kid she was amazed by them, she wasn't used to seeing tall towers away from the city, especially twenty towers so closely packed together.
she still stared in awe even if she spent all of her teenage years there with the late nights laughing and waiting for the 85 to come. back when the bus was $1.
when life was easier.
the train pulled out and started to speed faster and faster. there were no more stops until jamaica and her insides began to twist.
that nervous feeling she had dreaded every time something got her nervous. the train passed baisley projects and she knew how long until she pulled into the station. an announcement came over the intercom.
"attention passengers to ensure your safety police and mta transit officers have the right to request your bag be searched. we appreciate your cooperation in helping us stay safe"
she looked out of her window and saw her reflection, she was sweating.
then she looked out against the cloudy sky. she stared at the york college campus. the train then began to shake and rattle as it turned onto the mainline and switchover tracks.
the train slowed down to a crawl as it emerged from beneath a viaduct. she glanced at the center of jamaica. the movie theatre that noone went to but was always crowded. and all of the other government offices, warehouses, and parking lots.
the train pulled into the center platform.
"jamaica...transfer here for service to brooklyn"
the train took forever to come to a complete stop. she got up and grabbed her bag.
she got three text messages when she got up.
all from different people, all saying the same thing.
"ready"
she knew that everyone else knew what they were doing.
the two people at the lirr station in flushing.
the four people at flatbush terminal in brooklyn
and the two others in grand central and penn station.
they all were doing thi for the same reason, to show that the country was alienating it's own people by going after other's who weren't enemy's to begin with.
she stood in the middle of the platform and looked at the clock it read 8.19.
the timer was set on a satellite timer.
she stood there and watched as another train pulled into the same platform but on the next track.
the train she had just gotten off was waiting for people to transfer.
the doors opened.
people ran past her in both directions to catch their trains.
she stood there and looked up at the glass ceiling.
an explosion came from the left of her. the airtrain station was throwing glass down upon the station. people were screaming and running.
then she heard a click.
she exploded.
then another
then a fourth.
three minutes later two explosions went off on the train station in flushing. the bridge platform came crashing upon buses cars and people on main st.
at the same time there were four explosions on the subway and lirr platforms in the flatbush complex throwing people into a panic and trampling others onto the tracks.
the last two occurred ten minutes later. when the metro north and long island rail road system had shut their systems down.
people crowded around the escalators at penn station to see what was wrong with the trains.
people packed into the main hall of the grand central terminal to see what was wrong with the trains.
then the noise came.
and the screams came.
and the crowds ran.
new york city showed it's vulnerable side.
the bay sounds.
he stood there on the yellow line, the edge of the platform.
in his beige windbreaker staring at the red letters that read
"Dublin
/Pleasanton
4 CAR TRAIN"
his train wasn't supposed to arrive for a couple of minutes. a few people walked past him.
he seemed lifeless until he looked at his watch to see that it was 9.18. his train was scheduled to arrive at 9.20.
he knew that train because it was the one he took every Saturday when he had to return his two daughters to their mother every week.
he hated his life and his friends no longer had the strength to deal with him. ever since the accident during the earthquake two years ago, when he was driving on I-980 on his way to work and he was slammed into by a truck. it took him over a year to walk on his own. by that time his wife had left him, his daughters were teenagers, and his job had been taken away.
now he lived with his mother back in rockridge on 61st. he hated it there, then again he hated it everywhere, the voices ruined everything. no matter how much he could block them out, they were always in the back of his head telling him how horrible life was.
he never told anyone about them because he just thought it was normal, and he knew if he told a doctor they would give him more pills in addition to the ones he was taking for his depression.
"damn" he thought, he just realized that it was a week he'd been without his pills.
the whining sound of the train crept in from the distance. the electronic sign with the red letters started to flash, the wind began to consume the station. the sound grew louder as the train pulled in he walked to the white doors, and walked into the crowded train.
he stood there staring out the window listening to his head.
he hated taking the BART, that's when he'd get the thoughts in his head, he'd stare at someone and figure out ways to kill them. he hated the fact that he was thinking of killing people and was scared that he was closer and closer to actually going through with it.
he forced himself to look at the window and look at the lights and hear the swish of the walls they were passing. he just stared, lifeless.
"Balboa Park"
the doors sounded the alarm and then opened he walked out. he turned and the doors closed and the train pulled out.
he sat on one of the blue seats on the next train that pulled in.
"Glen Park is next"
the door alarms sounded.
he sat in the sparsely populated train staring out of the window. he passed underneath central san francisco, underneath the bay where the voices came back to him.
he panicked because they were louder that the train as it sped through the tunnel.
they just wouldn't stop tormenting him, he knew his life was horrible and that he had no reason to exist but why did his mind keep telling him that?
he sat there as the train continued through oakland, he listened in pain as he stared outside of the window looking down on the houses and at the highway that surrounded the tracks.
"rockridge"
he ran off and sat at one of the seats on the platform.
he looked up at the night sky. he stared at the stars and the planes that were above him.
the train pulled off and the computerized address system told him when the next train was coming in. he just didn't want to go home just yet.
he figured he'd just take the train out to Bay Point and catch the last train that night back home.
he sat up and stared at the highway traffic that was only a few feet away from the elevated train station. the next twenty minutes were odd for him.
his opinion on life completely changed from bad to worse, he had no friends and he never saw his family, he had no job and had nothing to wake up to, he was afraid to drive and felt as if her were trapped in the bay area, consumed by BART and it's schedules and people.
he saw the lights off in the distance he stood up.
he turned to look north of the station and where he called his mom.
he took out his cell and called the house, it was 10.36 she was probably asleep he figured.
"mom?....mom i love you.
never forget that, i love you and the girls.
forgive me. i just need to go someplace else.
i love you"
she picked up after he hit end. and he tossed the phone onto the parking lot below the station.
the train got closer and he stood there.
it pulled in and slowed.
the doors opened and then closed.
he grabbed onto the side and climbed onto the top before anyone could see him.
"the next stop is Orinda"
the train began to press onward. he stood on the roof and the cold air slammed into his body.
he screamed out of excitement, he'd never had a feeling like this.
the train screeched as it turned an angle. he looked at the highway and walked to the edge of the train.
it was the same highway he'd been on that day that ruined his life. he then looked up at the sky. he knew the train was gonna go into a tunnel soon. he didn't notice the goose bumps that were his entire body.
he jumped.
his body hit the highway leaving the train that was doing 50.
a truck swerved out of the way, the black sedan behind it didn't have time and the tires ran over his lifeless body.
two more cars hit, crushing his bones.
then the screeches came following. the highway was closed and the emergency crews were called in.
one of the cars was slammed by the truck that swerved out of the way and trapped a family in their minivan. the father lost one of his legs.
the next day's commute went smoothly. the sun was shining and it was a warm 73 degrees that morning. the cars passed over where a man had committed suicide hours earlier.
the trains continued to pass through.
the sounds continued.
in his beige windbreaker staring at the red letters that read
"Dublin
/Pleasanton
4 CAR TRAIN"
his train wasn't supposed to arrive for a couple of minutes. a few people walked past him.
he seemed lifeless until he looked at his watch to see that it was 9.18. his train was scheduled to arrive at 9.20.
he knew that train because it was the one he took every Saturday when he had to return his two daughters to their mother every week.
he hated his life and his friends no longer had the strength to deal with him. ever since the accident during the earthquake two years ago, when he was driving on I-980 on his way to work and he was slammed into by a truck. it took him over a year to walk on his own. by that time his wife had left him, his daughters were teenagers, and his job had been taken away.
now he lived with his mother back in rockridge on 61st. he hated it there, then again he hated it everywhere, the voices ruined everything. no matter how much he could block them out, they were always in the back of his head telling him how horrible life was.
he never told anyone about them because he just thought it was normal, and he knew if he told a doctor they would give him more pills in addition to the ones he was taking for his depression.
"damn" he thought, he just realized that it was a week he'd been without his pills.
the whining sound of the train crept in from the distance. the electronic sign with the red letters started to flash, the wind began to consume the station. the sound grew louder as the train pulled in he walked to the white doors, and walked into the crowded train.
he stood there staring out the window listening to his head.
he hated taking the BART, that's when he'd get the thoughts in his head, he'd stare at someone and figure out ways to kill them. he hated the fact that he was thinking of killing people and was scared that he was closer and closer to actually going through with it.
he forced himself to look at the window and look at the lights and hear the swish of the walls they were passing. he just stared, lifeless.
"Balboa Park"
the doors sounded the alarm and then opened he walked out. he turned and the doors closed and the train pulled out.
he sat on one of the blue seats on the next train that pulled in.
"Glen Park is next"
the door alarms sounded.
he sat in the sparsely populated train staring out of the window. he passed underneath central san francisco, underneath the bay where the voices came back to him.
he panicked because they were louder that the train as it sped through the tunnel.
they just wouldn't stop tormenting him, he knew his life was horrible and that he had no reason to exist but why did his mind keep telling him that?
he sat there as the train continued through oakland, he listened in pain as he stared outside of the window looking down on the houses and at the highway that surrounded the tracks.
"rockridge"
he ran off and sat at one of the seats on the platform.
he looked up at the night sky. he stared at the stars and the planes that were above him.
the train pulled off and the computerized address system told him when the next train was coming in. he just didn't want to go home just yet.
he figured he'd just take the train out to Bay Point and catch the last train that night back home.
he sat up and stared at the highway traffic that was only a few feet away from the elevated train station. the next twenty minutes were odd for him.
his opinion on life completely changed from bad to worse, he had no friends and he never saw his family, he had no job and had nothing to wake up to, he was afraid to drive and felt as if her were trapped in the bay area, consumed by BART and it's schedules and people.
he saw the lights off in the distance he stood up.
he turned to look north of the station and where he called his mom.
he took out his cell and called the house, it was 10.36 she was probably asleep he figured.
"mom?....mom i love you.
never forget that, i love you and the girls.
forgive me. i just need to go someplace else.
i love you"
she picked up after he hit end. and he tossed the phone onto the parking lot below the station.
the train got closer and he stood there.
it pulled in and slowed.
the doors opened and then closed.
he grabbed onto the side and climbed onto the top before anyone could see him.
"the next stop is Orinda"
the train began to press onward. he stood on the roof and the cold air slammed into his body.
he screamed out of excitement, he'd never had a feeling like this.
the train screeched as it turned an angle. he looked at the highway and walked to the edge of the train.
it was the same highway he'd been on that day that ruined his life. he then looked up at the sky. he knew the train was gonna go into a tunnel soon. he didn't notice the goose bumps that were his entire body.
he jumped.
his body hit the highway leaving the train that was doing 50.
a truck swerved out of the way, the black sedan behind it didn't have time and the tires ran over his lifeless body.
two more cars hit, crushing his bones.
then the screeches came following. the highway was closed and the emergency crews were called in.
one of the cars was slammed by the truck that swerved out of the way and trapped a family in their minivan. the father lost one of his legs.
the next day's commute went smoothly. the sun was shining and it was a warm 73 degrees that morning. the cars passed over where a man had committed suicide hours earlier.
the trains continued to pass through.
the sounds continued.
introductionary post
well i decided to leave myspace blogs in favor of a real blog. woohoo.
so here i'll be posting my old stories and then my newer ones once i finish everything.
so here i'll be posting my old stories and then my newer ones once i finish everything.
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