one way.

she walked up from the stairs on francis lewis blvd.
she was out of breath as she had to run across the sunrise highway because the light changed while she was in the middle.
she stood at the ticket machine and struggled to get her ticket. she never was good at using those touch screens, and the ones on the long island rail road were the worst.
she smoothed out her wrinkled $5 bill in her hands and slid it in and then fit the two quarters into the other slot. her ticket slid to the bottom of the machine and she grabbed it. leaving behind the two dollar coins that fell with it.
she walked toward the back of the platform because that's what the directions told her to do.
she laid the bookbag on the floor. she was afraid someone might take it.
then she sat at one of the benches facing the wrong side of the tracks, she looked to her left and stared at entire green acres mall complex.
the train caught her eye. it was going in her direction but she was told not to get on it.
the other train pulled in at the same time. the windstorm created by one of the trains threw her hair up in the air.
it settled as the screeching brakes mad her teeth clench.
the doors opened and everyone rushed onto one of the trains that would carry them into the depths of the urban mass of new york.
noone got off the other train, noone got on.
they both closed the doors and pulled off at the same time.
she looked up at the lcd screen. it read 7.34.
unprotected by the trains the wind hit her face like a slap from a child.
the cold rainy day that was April 4th,2007.
the station remained empty. it was a holiday and the kids had spring break today was supposed to be a quiet commute.
she sat in silence and stared below at the collection of cars on the sunrise highway that were stopped at the light again.
she only heard the traffic and the wind.
the thoughts began to interrupt her mind, the ones of what she was doing today, the memories of her brother when he was younger, the sadness that had overcome her began to be visible.
she clenched her fists and forced her elbows into her legs.
leaning her face into her fists she began to breathe heavy.
she couldn't control her lungs and began to think that she was hyperventilating.
she leaned back and sighed. as an express train screeched by her.
she pushed her hair behind her ears.
leaning back she drifted off to sleep, or tried to.
the rain woke her up. it had begun to fall faster.
someone behind her had began a coughing spell.
looking at the screen above she knew it was 8.00. and there were a few minutes before her train was scheduled to pull in.
she stood up and put the bookbag on her back.
she walked to the other side of the platform and looked to her right to see the headlights of the train just off in the distance.
she noticed that more people had crowded onto the platform in the last three minutes and before she could turn around the silver train was pulling into the station.
the one large door slid open and she crowded in.
she got to the middle and saw an empty seat in the last row, she sat down and made sure her book bag was secure.
"this penn station bound train is calling at laurelton, locust manor, jamaica, woodside, and penn station"
the bells rang and all of the doors closed. the air conditioner was turned on and the train was chilling.
she stared blankly out of the window. all of the small houses that littered south queens, the quiet yet notoriously dangerous place of queens.
she knew it as home and always knew that it was part of the city everyone ignored.
but she always felt ignored by the government.
even when her family found out that day that her brother had been killed in iraq.
all she knew was that he was killed by "friendly fire"
but yet noone gave them any answers it was all in secured files stashed somewhere.
she had a right to know what really happened to her little brother.
yet she got no answers and it took 2 months to get his body.
everyone told her that there was nothing she could do.
that the government would never tell her anything. she knew that this was true but she still had to do something.
that's why her and twelve others would hold their own demonstration in protest to the government.
the train passed over the belt parkway and began to slow as it continued left at a junction, it pulled into laurelton.
the train began to fill up as it usually did here, during rush hour. she had ridden this train so many times she could probably drive the train herself.
but she didn't think about that today she was lost in thought.
she replayed that scene when she left the house this morning.
when she laid the note on her mother's nightstand.
"where you goin so early?"
"i got called into to work ma...get some sleep it's your day off"
she locked the door and closed the gate. and walked away without even looking back.
the train jerked to a stop she hadn't even noticed that they had pulled off already.
the doors opened at locust manor. she looked across the train and looked out of the windows to see the rochdale housing complex.
as a kid she was amazed by them, she wasn't used to seeing tall towers away from the city, especially twenty towers so closely packed together.
she still stared in awe even if she spent all of her teenage years there with the late nights laughing and waiting for the 85 to come. back when the bus was $1.
when life was easier.
the train pulled out and started to speed faster and faster. there were no more stops until jamaica and her insides began to twist.
that nervous feeling she had dreaded every time something got her nervous. the train passed baisley projects and she knew how long until she pulled into the station. an announcement came over the intercom.
"attention passengers to ensure your safety police and mta transit officers have the right to request your bag be searched. we appreciate your cooperation in helping us stay safe"
she looked out of her window and saw her reflection, she was sweating.
then she looked out against the cloudy sky. she stared at the york college campus. the train then began to shake and rattle as it turned onto the mainline and switchover tracks.
the train slowed down to a crawl as it emerged from beneath a viaduct. she glanced at the center of jamaica. the movie theatre that noone went to but was always crowded. and all of the other government offices, warehouses, and parking lots.
the train pulled into the center platform.
"jamaica...transfer here for service to brooklyn"
the train took forever to come to a complete stop. she got up and grabbed her bag.
she got three text messages when she got up.
all from different people, all saying the same thing.
"ready"
she knew that everyone else knew what they were doing.
the two people at the lirr station in flushing.
the four people at flatbush terminal in brooklyn
and the two others in grand central and penn station.
they all were doing thi for the same reason, to show that the country was alienating it's own people by going after other's who weren't enemy's to begin with.
she stood in the middle of the platform and looked at the clock it read 8.19.
the timer was set on a satellite timer.
she stood there and watched as another train pulled into the same platform but on the next track.
the train she had just gotten off was waiting for people to transfer.
the doors opened.
people ran past her in both directions to catch their trains.
she stood there and looked up at the glass ceiling.
an explosion came from the left of her. the airtrain station was throwing glass down upon the station. people were screaming and running.
then she heard a click.
she exploded.
then another
then a fourth.
three minutes later two explosions went off on the train station in flushing. the bridge platform came crashing upon buses cars and people on main st.
at the same time there were four explosions on the subway and lirr platforms in the flatbush complex throwing people into a panic and trampling others onto the tracks.
the last two occurred ten minutes later. when the metro north and long island rail road system had shut their systems down.
people crowded around the escalators at penn station to see what was wrong with the trains.
people packed into the main hall of the grand central terminal to see what was wrong with the trains.
then the noise came.
and the screams came.
and the crowds ran.

new york city showed it's vulnerable side.