the bay sounds.

he stood there on the yellow line, the edge of the platform.
in his beige windbreaker staring at the red letters that read
"Dublin
/Pleasanton
4 CAR TRAIN"
his train wasn't supposed to arrive for a couple of minutes. a few people walked past him.
he seemed lifeless until he looked at his watch to see that it was 9.18. his train was scheduled to arrive at 9.20.
he knew that train because it was the one he took every Saturday when he had to return his two daughters to their mother every week.
he hated his life and his friends no longer had the strength to deal with him. ever since the accident during the earthquake two years ago, when he was driving on I-980 on his way to work and he was slammed into by a truck. it took him over a year to walk on his own. by that time his wife had left him, his daughters were teenagers, and his job had been taken away.
now he lived with his mother back in rockridge on 61st. he hated it there, then again he hated it everywhere, the voices ruined everything. no matter how much he could block them out, they were always in the back of his head telling him how horrible life was.
he never told anyone about them because he just thought it was normal, and he knew if he told a doctor they would give him more pills in addition to the ones he was taking for his depression.
"damn" he thought, he just realized that it was a week he'd been without his pills.
the whining sound of the train crept in from the distance. the electronic sign with the red letters started to flash, the wind began to consume the station. the sound grew louder as the train pulled in he walked to the white doors, and walked into the crowded train.
he stood there staring out the window listening to his head.
he hated taking the BART, that's when he'd get the thoughts in his head, he'd stare at someone and figure out ways to kill them. he hated the fact that he was thinking of killing people and was scared that he was closer and closer to actually going through with it.
he forced himself to look at the window and look at the lights and hear the swish of the walls they were passing. he just stared, lifeless.
"Balboa Park"
the doors sounded the alarm and then opened he walked out. he turned and the doors closed and the train pulled out.
he sat on one of the blue seats on the next train that pulled in.
"Glen Park is next"
the door alarms sounded.
he sat in the sparsely populated train staring out of the window. he passed underneath central san francisco, underneath the bay where the voices came back to him.
he panicked because they were louder that the train as it sped through the tunnel.
they just wouldn't stop tormenting him, he knew his life was horrible and that he had no reason to exist but why did his mind keep telling him that?
he sat there as the train continued through oakland, he listened in pain as he stared outside of the window looking down on the houses and at the highway that surrounded the tracks.
"rockridge"
he ran off and sat at one of the seats on the platform.
he looked up at the night sky. he stared at the stars and the planes that were above him.
the train pulled off and the computerized address system told him when the next train was coming in. he just didn't want to go home just yet.
he figured he'd just take the train out to Bay Point and catch the last train that night back home.
he sat up and stared at the highway traffic that was only a few feet away from the elevated train station. the next twenty minutes were odd for him.
his opinion on life completely changed from bad to worse, he had no friends and he never saw his family, he had no job and had nothing to wake up to, he was afraid to drive and felt as if her were trapped in the bay area, consumed by BART and it's schedules and people.
he saw the lights off in the distance he stood up.
he turned to look north of the station and where he called his mom.
he took out his cell and called the house, it was 10.36 she was probably asleep he figured.
"mom?....mom i love you.
never forget that, i love you and the girls.
forgive me. i just need to go someplace else.
i love you"
she picked up after he hit end. and he tossed the phone onto the parking lot below the station.
the train got closer and he stood there.
it pulled in and slowed.
the doors opened and then closed.
he grabbed onto the side and climbed onto the top before anyone could see him.
"the next stop is Orinda"
the train began to press onward. he stood on the roof and the cold air slammed into his body.
he screamed out of excitement, he'd never had a feeling like this.
the train screeched as it turned an angle. he looked at the highway and walked to the edge of the train.
it was the same highway he'd been on that day that ruined his life. he then looked up at the sky. he knew the train was gonna go into a tunnel soon. he didn't notice the goose bumps that were his entire body.
he jumped.
his body hit the highway leaving the train that was doing 50.
a truck swerved out of the way, the black sedan behind it didn't have time and the tires ran over his lifeless body.
two more cars hit, crushing his bones.
then the screeches came following. the highway was closed and the emergency crews were called in.
one of the cars was slammed by the truck that swerved out of the way and trapped a family in their minivan. the father lost one of his legs.
the next day's commute went smoothly. the sun was shining and it was a warm 73 degrees that morning. the cars passed over where a man had committed suicide hours earlier.
the trains continued to pass through.
the sounds continued.